"edge"

I do not drink, I do not do drugs, I do not smoke cigarettes, I do not claim 'straight edge'

I had a conversation with my friend the other day about people who claim 'straight edge'. Who wear all the clothing, have X tattoo's and cover their internet pages with things that symbolise and clearly state that they are edge. I do not claim straight edge because I do not like the whole labelling system. I do not have a problem with people who do claim straight edge (why would I..) but I do have a problem with people who label themselves anything in general (e.g. vegetarian, vegan, straight edge, bi-sexual etc) and then look down upon people who are not in that categorical label they so gladly boast about. Being different, or being a part of something that is a positive life choice is, yes, something to be proud of, and you may spread your happiness and your beliefs all you like, but do not talk down to people who do not believe the same. You have, as everyone has, every right to have an opinion, a belief, and to do whatever the heck you want, as long as you respect other peoples beliefs!

I do not claim Straight Edge for the fact that I do not want to boast. I don't have a problem with people who drink, or do drugs, or smoke. Sure, I may not want to be around those people, either when they are doing those things, or just in general, but I feel that if I claim edge that people will assume I have an extreme dislike for the PEOPLE who do those things. This is not true! I dislike the substances, and the effects that they have on the people.

Also, I'm not saying that all (or many) people who claim edge, shove their beliefs down peoples throats or disrespect people who are not edge. That is not the case at all. So please, if I have offended you I am sorry. If something in the last few paragraphs has upset you, please let me know and we can either discuss it or I will change it.

I do not claim Straight Edge, but I don't do drugs/smoke/drink alcohol
I do not claim to be bi-sexual, but yes, I like girls
Don't shove labels down my throat, thanks

weather

I miss Winter.
I miss crawling into bed in next to nothing, muscles contracting, shivering uncontrollably, while I wrap my thick, heavy duna around me. Arranging my limbs to the fetal position as my goosebumps fade away. I miss walking outside in the am and smelling the fresh, dewey air, as it stings the inside of my nostrils. Breathing and watching it evaporate, molecule by molecule. Watching the rain fall on dry leaves, leaving them moist and polished. The smell of rain, rain in general.
I adore cold weather, and I miss it, a lot.

Friday: Breakfast:

I decided I'm going to start blogging again
I'll start off with my breakfast today

This morning started really horribly (but Lilli cheered me up), so I decided to make a delicious salad for breakfast to make me feel better, and it did haha.

6 Asparagus shoots

1 Glass of water

Half a tomato

Half a carrot

Chopped lettuce

12 Snowpeas

1 Mushroom

3 Small pieces of cheese

addiction

It would be nice if I hated sweet foods such as chocolate, as much as I hate potatoes and pasta.
I can very, VERY easily turn down even a spoonful of pasta, or a piece of bread, and don't even need to think twice when someone puts a potato on my plate. But when it comes to chocolate, I cannot help myself. I always feel so horrible afterwards, and it's extremely stupid because it's basically the only 'bad' food I will indulge in [that and peanut butter]. But once I start, I cannot force myself to stop.

I dislike the idea of most foods so much, yet it's all I can think about, and it's all I ever talk about...
Talk about confusing! I'm a walking contradiction.

wake up

Last night, like most nights, I had a dream.
I cannot remember all of it, but I can remember one part:
I was standing on the scales weighing myself, and it said I was 37kg... the last time I weighed myself [in real life], I was 65kg. In my dream I looked in the mirror and I still looked the same [i.e. I still hated my body, and still picked and prodded myself]...
Am I so obsessed with my weight that it's now being portrayed into my dreams and thoughts even when I am not awake? I don't have an eating disorder, I eat food, not that I always want to, but I do eat it.
I'm worried of what I'm becoming.
Holy Shit...

release

I'm scared.
I don't even want to talk about it on here in case someone whom I don't want to read it, reads it. And then they might think I'm loopy, or weird, and I don't want that. I havn't really talked to anyone about the things in my life lately, and it's not helping the situation at all. I need someone to talk to, but at the moment, I don't really have anyone who won't judge me or will just tell me exactly what I don't want to hear. Lets hope writing this helps me think about it. Hmm...
//

deaf children

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq3FV_zdyy0&feature=channel
After watching this video, I am speechless, no pun intended.
I don't even know what to say about this video. I watched the whole thing twice over, in absolute awe from these children. To me, watching this short film, showed me how intelligent young people can be. I almost feel that deaf children have a different, possibly more sophisticated knowledge of certain things. I cannot justify my opinion with any smart facts because I have not experienced deafness.
I guess in the end I have complete respect and admiration for these children. I have always found it, not fascinating, because I do not like to say I would 'study' a certain 'type' of people... Inspirational may be the right word.
I'm not writing this very well.
I am literally speechless.
Complete admiration.