Today, turned out to be a good day

Today has been good so far.
Lately I have felt no urge to hang with people or need to be around people. And I fear I have accidentally pushed people away because of this, so I am currently in attempt of trying to notify them that I still love them dearly, I just need a bit of space at the moment.

I still havn't bought a new phone. My mum only just arrived home from her 2 week holiday to Italy, London and other places. She brought me home some krispy kremes which I reluctantly ate, and my favourite Harajuku perfume. I really have missed her, and I'm glad she's back, it all seems to be back in flow now she's home.

I have been potting around my room today, cleaning everything up as I love doing. I really do enjoy being neat and clean, clutter makes it hard to think and move around. I just vacuumed my carpet because I hadn't in a while, and the feeling [not just the physical feeling] gets better every time. I think I will adapt a new habit to vacuum my room every day, or every two days. In my usual routine, I clean my room every day, but cleaning my carpet was rare. This will change. I think it will be a lovely change to my room aura.

dealing with compliments

How we respond to compliments is actually a very difficult process. If you do not genuinely feel as if you deserve the compliment, you will say thank you and assure them that they could do/are better, but the more compliments you receive, the more you realise that you really are what people say. From here on in, people swing one of two ways. They either start responding to compliments with ‘thank you’s’ and gratitude’s, silently giving themselves a pat on the back for their good effort, or they begin to attract more attention to themselves by re-stating the compliment to themselves instead of a thank you (or sometimes along with a thank you).


For example:
Jenny: “Wow Indie, you are so stunning! I love your makeup!”
Indie: “Thanks! I usually look better than this, but yeah my make up does look awesome”

When you receive a compliment, unless you are completely oblivious to how amazing you look/how talented you are/ whatever the compliment implies, you actually have to devise a statement that will thank the person complimenting you, but not enforce the idea that you are up yourself. You can agree with the compliment, but if you express that in the wrong context, you can come across as being an arrogant fool.

weather to a stone - verse

"The reasons that I live, the way that I live, are building up and they'll continue to grow
I will never run from where I stand even if it means I'm standing here alone
I've seen the best of 'em fall away, I've come to learn that even words written in stone can be eroded with time"

scream - verse

"Tired and beaten, voice withering away to nothing
I'm walking in the footsteps made by those who have been defeated
I've watched men and women made of steel get burned up as easily as dry leaves and left depleted
All of my heroes have been ruined or written out of history
I could be destined to fade away like so many before me
But as long as my heart keeps beating, I can't stop screaming
Silence, is violence
I'm bending, I'm breaking, I'm broken
I'm still alive"

owl's

note* none of the following photos were taken by me, they were found on various websites and I do not know who captured them.

I love owls. They are such placid-looking creatures, and have such large, vigilant eyes. They seem constantly alert and awake, I think this is a good trait to have.

Year 12

I am so excited about stage 2!
I have chosen my subjects, I am doing English Studies, Health, Tourism, Art Design semester 1 and Art Visual semester 2. I have a feeling I am going to enjoy my lessons. I would also really like to do a TAFE course for food and hospitality, but I'm not sure whether I will be able to get into one yet.
I love having plans and thinking about the future.

It Prevails - Brothers to the flames

''I am the author of my life.
And I'm writing in pen, and I can't rub out my mistakes.
If I could start again in life, I would repeat all my mistakes.
They make us who we are in this world.

Making changes everyday, but it seems so empty,
I try so hard, but I am only a man.
How much longer can my brow damn these beads of sweat before they sting my eyes?
Like time has shown me, so many times before.
How much longer can my will last me throughout this lifetime?
I struggle to find who I am anymore.

I know now that who I am is better than who I used to be.
If this is all I am, then so be it, this is all I can be.

There are many things that aren't what they seem in this world,
Friendship is the best example of these.
I find myself questioning more and more every single day.
How much longer can we hold our brothers to these flames?
And the people who have meant so much to us?

I know now that who I am is better than who I used to be.
If this is all I am, then so be it, this is all I can be.''

former upset self

I'm sure most of you can relate to being upset and writing things either on Facebook or to people that you have regretted after wards. When you are angry or upset, you can say things that you either do not necessarily mean, or should not have mentioned. I have learnt that when I am upset, I tend to whinge a lot and most things that I say or write come across as extremely depressing or misleading. To fix this i.e. avoid embarrassment and soppy 'woe is me' statuses, I write things down in my note pad and read them over once I am not upset. I look back on them and think to myself, 'It really wasn't that bad. It wasn't that big of a deal'.

"What the fuck do people want from me. If I complain or ask for sympathy and help, apparently I am too whingy and annoying. If I'm content being alone and can handle things on my own and am self-sufficient they go for the whingy ones. Fuck. I'm not loving anything anymore. It all ends in fucking pain. What's that? I'm whinging?  Yeah I'm fucking whinging because I'm sick of  trying so hard that I end up being the person who tries too hard. So I back off, try less, go with the fucking flow, and I get thrown off the same boat of happiness and love that everyone else is riding on and end up alone. Not floating. Not trying. Alone.''

This is one of the recent notes that I saved for myself to read later. I spilled out how I felt at that exact moment onto a page, and then left it behind. I am so glad that I have the strength to pull myself out of those situations, those lonely moods where everyone seems against me and it feels like no-one wants to love me. Reading back on the last paragraph, I can agree and disagree with my former upset self. Yes, it is difficult to strike the balance between happy and sad, rolling and stopping, depending on people and depending on yourself, but it's not all that bad. Everyone has to deal with it, everyone. And if you think you're alone? Then you really need to take a look outside, because there are so many people that are going to be there for you no matter what.

Conclusion: I love my friends and family. I don't like being 'single', but I'm doing okay on my own. I'm content.

music music music

If I'm sad, I listen to really loud music.
If I'm excited, I listen to really loud music.
If I'm worried, I listen to really loud music.
If I'm angry, I listen to really loud music.
Get it?

I'm not upset, but i'm not as happy as I was before.
Loud music? Yeah.
Currently: Whitechapel

excitement

It can be so hard to hold in excitement for things sometimes. I have found one of the worst possible outcomes of being over-excited, is the disappointment when it falls through. From now on I will try and hold in my excitement for everything, as the saying goes "Hope for the best but expect the worst". I guess it's saying to always keep on your toes, and never expect everything to go perfectly every time.

On another note, I am quite happy.
I just ate another cup cake, the last of the batch made in home ec on tuesday.
No more cup cakes for another 2 months.
Green tea time.

hoon drivers

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1388779851607&ref=mf

please watch this
I had to stop it at 1:50 because I couldn't handle it and I started crying. Some of these may have been pure accidents but some could have been avoided. If this doesn't urge you to drive carefully, then I don't know what will, i'm hoping another life lost won't be the extent of your lesson learnt.

diet's

I love being on a healthy diet, even though I sometimes binge on some not-so-healthy foods, I enjoy knowing that I don't put loads of crap into my system. I rarely ever eat fast foods, the only bad foods I eat are muffins and chocolate, which are so hard to say no to haha.

I usually have the same amount of porridge for breakfast every morning, but i'm thinking it's time for a change, not that i'm sick of porridge I just feel I should mix things up. I bought some natural yogurt and bran today, so that is option numero uno. My second thought was to make a smoothie from banana, tofu and soy milk.

I love change, and new ideas, this feels great.

morning

I really love having a routine.
Every morning I wake up at 7am. I walk downstairs and make my porridge and green tea, then come back upstairs to read my horoscope for today. I walk to school every morning, and I enjoy it, except for when the wind is whipping my face at 420km/h and I have to hold onto my skirt for dear life. I usually have the same thing for lunch as well, rice, which is apparently bland but I love it.
I should probaly get going or else i'll be late, and we don't want that.
Have a lovely day.

om nom nom

So this week and last week was official 'cupcake week'.

It was extended to this week because of these babies below.

They were so delicious, and they also looked great.

If I get a muffin top, the irony will kill me, so will my diet.

click it

http://equallove.info/petition
and sign the petition. enough said.

something different

I have never 'blogged' in my life.
Neither have I followed someone's blog.
So this is different.
Something I never foresaw myself doing.
My current thought is whether anyone will read this or follow me.
Mind you, I wouldn’t mind blogging to myself.
I understand my feelings and thoughts better when I write about it.
I’ll try not to write ‘whiney’ blogs; gosh I really don’t like those.
I guess I just complained.
Stupid hypocritical comments.
Whinge, moan, grunt.
Blog post #1 complete.
I should say congratulations on conforming to yet another fad.
But I wont.
Congratu-not-lations.
I'm just like the rest of you.

Have a lovely day.